From: Stephen Montgomery Hammersmith
To: Vline Supplies
Subject: Supply Delay
Dear Sir or Madame,
This is my fifth attempt to contact you about the supplies I ordered. I've yet to receive a reply. Is it possible that your mail client has automatically added me to your spam list? If so, I ask that you consider changing mail clients. Any software that considers investment opportunities for the Penny-Up™ to be "spam" is woefully misprogrammed.
(What is the Penny-Up™? The Penny-Up™ is a combination smelting/molding machine that can melt down and remold fifty pennies into a single quarter. The Penny-Up™ isn't just convenient, it's the right thing to do.©)
It is of vital importance that I get the supplies I ordered ASAP. Some people are complaining about the lack of tampons. You may rush order the tampons separately if that is more convenient for you.
Please also rush order the disinfectant.
It is of vital importance that you respond ASAP. If you are a woman, please feel free to contact me by phone. If you are a man, email is fine.
Professionally/sincerely yours,
Stephen Montgomery Hammersmith
PS: Investment opportunities for the Penny-Up are still available but going fast. Ante Up for the Penny-Up™!©
Home of the Victory Shower
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